What do you say to the lonliest man in the world?
"I think you're doing the best you can."
but in my mind it played past tense.
the best you could.
For awhile I had this sudden urge to hold onto God's hand.
I wonder how long it had been since someone comforted him.
This time, I shifted, uncomfortably.
"It's okay, Kalea. You don't have to."
for some reason I forgot that he knew every moment.
God got up, and walked to the edge of the balcony
i watched him grab the purple clouds and pull them closer to us
"Kalea, do you know what it's like to destroy?"
Yes God, I do.
I knew he could read my mind, but instead I said
I watched God pull the clouds back and let them fly across the sky
God walked back to the balcony wall and held his head in his hands.
Yes Kalea, I do
"Kalea do you remember when you fell and cut your knee open?"
I thought of course I do, I had to get stitches, instead I just nodded my head.
"That night you said, 'God, you let me fall.'"
I always say things I don't mean.
We sat in silence
How do you sit in silence with God, you ask?
It's almost easier than talking.
It was a moment where you go blank. blank. blank.
I felt the purple clouds turn into smoke
it was suffocating.
"It's about time, I got home.."
Just then I felt the heaviest hand in the world, placed on top of mine.
"Kalea, don't let me fall anymore.