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her.she is one hundred percent alone, minus him.

meet her.

she has milk white skin, and jagged bones. her eyes are pale and soft, and could make you surrender under her breath (and they will.)

every night she goes to sleep with a man who touches her, and she feels sick. and she wishes he'd just leave the hair in her face.

(because it's easier to hide tears that way.)

she dreams at night.

her milky skin is spilling over unfamiliar fingers. the freckles on her back match the ones in his eyes, and she feels safe. she offers him her heart, and he closes it into a box.

(she wakes up feeling nine

monotony.we went to vegas. you drove and i pressed myself against the side of the door and breathed out pictures onto your window. you planned to make it big, and i planned to make it a memory. i fell asleep through the city of lights, and it was then i decided that christmas didn't feel the same, and your hands were always cold, even through your gloves.

i sat on the hotel bed and thought of how many people sat exactly where i was. you were in the bathroom buttoning up your shirt. i clenched mine so tightly closed my back pressed through the fabric. this was when i decided this is what suffocating was like. you were talking to me but i only remember

charlotte.it was halloween and charlotte was dressed as an obnoxious pumpkin, because her mother tries to make her a normal child.

(and charlotte will whisper that normal children smash pumpkins, not wear them.)

when charlotte was seven she decided that she would swim far out into old pine lake, and hold her breath until the colors in her eyes turned purple, like the bruises that slid down her thighs and touched apon her fragile feet.

(and it was then that charlotte realized, that no one would be around to save her, and that just wasn't the point.)

charlotte decides to be called "char" because it sounds like something silent

still.one.
-

her name is alice. there is a slight blood stain on the valley where her lips part, and her eyes are two supermassive black stars that can't show anything but hurt. she can't bring herself to look in the broken mirror puddles that are all over the ground.

(and i don't blame her)

two.

-

she borrows her mother's raincoat because it smells like home. not the homes that are flooded with laundry soap or soft candles burning in the family room, but more like the paint she spilled on the carpet, or the whiskey on her father's breath.

annie.annie paints the end of her erasers red, so every time she erases something, it reminds her she is made of mistakes.

and her mother would be proud, really.

annie has long fawn legs and can't remember the last time she actually drank a glass of water. the feeling of being dehydrated reminds her that she can in fact feel, and her father spends too much time away from home.

and her mother re-named herself "alone."

when she was six they found out she was dyslexic. her father told her she just couldn't see things right. annie went home and stared into the lamp light until her pupils dialated and tears ran down her fac

william.dreams make him vomit.

meet william.

he has spider-leg fingers and eyes so cold they could stop your heart.
(and they will.)

every night william goes to sleep knowing that someone else is waking up with his only friend, and he wishes he could brush the honey-stained hair from her cheek.

(not the man, who can't even spell love without cheating.)

william dreams at night.

his spider fingers are creeping up the jagged edge of her spine. her skin is the color of milk, and lightly freckled. william keeps her safe, and has made a

lightening bolt eyes.he has lightening bolt eyes and one fucking killer smile.

   let me introduce you to whom i call "fire-fly."

he has ice white skin and something about the way his hair falls that makes me wish mine would conform to such a beauty.

   looking at you for so long makes me feel. Really feel.

he calls them fire-flies but i say lightening bugs.
fire burns hot against his skin, and i can feel the heat in his heart
but lightening bolt eyes can destroy you.

   but god, it's so beautiful first, but only at first.

he calls me his "freckled girl" and i call him my heart
and he says that i shine undern

watching you spin.you're a disco dancing, drama queen with dirty hair and the permanent smell of stale cigarettes. but god, are you beautiful, twisting and dancing under circular lights,

and vomiting when you're done.(acid does some crazy shit)

your hair was once blonde and beautiful like your eyes, but now it's laying in clumps almost everywhere, because you fucking pull out a strand whenever i'm around, i don't know why i do that to you.

but i never really ever offer to leave, either.

there's that one song that i always hear you listening to, it's the same old shit about love and loss and never being able to forget that special someone, i use to ge

The Day I Met God II.
What do you say to the lonliest man in the world?
"I think you're doing the best you can."
but in my mind it played past tense.

the best you could.

For awhile I had this sudden urge to hold onto God's hand.
I wonder how long it had been since someone comforted him.
This time, I shifted, uncomfortably.
"It's okay, Kalea. You don't have to."

for some reason I forgot that he knew every moment.

God got up, and walked to the edge of the balcony
i watched him grab the purple clouds and pull them closer to us
"Kalea, do you know what it's like to destroy?"

Yes God, I do.

I knew he could read my mind, but

She glows.
I think that every heartbeat is a plea to be heard
Beat one: I need you.
Beat two: You don't need me.
-

there is probably a reason why girls are the ones who wear makeup.
such as we tend to show our hurt more.
lies can't be seen beneath the foundation
you call it makeup
i call it coverup.
Beat: I don't want you to look underneath me.
-

i use to catch fireflys and throw them to the ground and watch as they glowed
i hope that when I die, i'll explode into a glowing galaxy.

Beat: I wonder if you'd kill me just to watch me glow.

-

those people that have irregular heartbeats,
i won

mertha.i like to seperate my thoughts into names, to keep them in order.

my lonliness is named mertha, and she'd like to meet you.

mertha sits by me on my bed and we draw pictures of tulips and snails and wonder when that math test was. she takes my hand and grips it slowly, while singing that song my mother use to sing when i was 4.

(and i wonder exactly how she knew the words.)

mertha walks with me in the rain and understands that i don't like to be asked questions in the morning. sometimes when i'm sitting in the bathtub with no running water she won't leave me alone, and mertha knows that she is unwelcome.

The Day I Met God.I met God one evening.
The funny thing is, i wasn't wanting to find him.

                        ask anything.

God was smoking.
"Why are you smoking?"

                         "I'm God Kalea, i'm stressed."

We sat atop a big balcony and watched his creations move.
"They're so beautiful", God was breathing hard.
But I know they aren't. they aren't. they aren't.

quiescencewhen i
imagine
us,
your tongue
is not
in your
mouth,
it is not
in my
mouth,
it has
been
eaten
by the birds.

there are
no
hormones or
revelatory
moments,
only you
and
i sitting
in the
middle
of a
stretch
of
sunbleached
pavement,
silent,
not
speaking.

when
you cry,
i will
cry
with you
and
we will
find
each others'
arms
and
it
will be
alright
because
we
do not
need words.

roamin'i named him charlie.

charlie was the sort to sit on the concrete rather than the bench three feet away because it was ironic, his guitar case under his shoes and a cardboard sign on his lap that read, "roamin'." charlie was maybe twenty, with too many deceased train tickets and copper-plated coins turning in his jeans. i would bet the contents of his pockets that he couldn't remember where his hometown was anymore, what his mother's face looked like, or why he left.

i wanted him to hold his sign the other way, i wanted to see if there were more permanent-marker words scrawled on the back. i wanted it to say, 'drive me somewhere,' or 'take m

salt.she has tiny bird bones and her skin wraps around her like seran wrap. she shivers in the summer and her mother is there to remind her that this is no way to live. at dinner she eats until she wants to burst. she keeps the salt underneath her bed and pours it into her water bottle. it's taking longer for her to make the monsters leave her body.

but don't worry, they always do.

her fingers shake while opening her locker, what did she have for breakfast again? wheat toast with jam - 85 calories, one piece of juicy fruit - 5 calories. the students watch her walk, a picture of shattered glass, but she's not concerned because a size

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bipolar hearts.

by ~create-illusions, Jul 23, 2009, 7:10:16 PM
Literature / Prose / Non-Fiction / General Non-Fiction

we use to watch Fight Club together, because she said that it made her feel a little less alone, and i could never reply so i held her in my lap.

           and she told me she was kalea's dizzy mind.

and in real life, you would think nothing of anything really, because she watches the birds fly just like you do. the morning rises on the same side of her window, and she can watch the clock tick away hours, just like you.

          and she told me she was kalea's spinal cord.

i watched her pick at her fingernails for too long, and always decided i would leave as soon as they started bleeding. her arms are full of scars where she thought she felt something crawling up her skin, only to find she was still alone. i told her i was here, but she turned over(and i can still hear her uneven breathing)

        and she told me she was kalea's collapsed lungs.

it amazed me how everything reminded her of something. there was a time when she said her favorite color was orange, and a smile forced over her face. she was connected to the window the rest of the time.

         "Did you know that jack-o-lanterns are orange, and for even a little while, they are happy just to be. and then one day, their light goes out, and sometimes, you can never find that light again."

       and she told me she was kalea's broken heart.

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bipolar hearts.by ~create-illusions

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i am kalea's shaking fingertips.

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~autumn-spirit Dec 1, 2010

Very beautiful. I like how you gave the feeling that someone seems to be "just like you" when they have this problem.

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~create-illusions Dec 2, 2010

<3

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Mood: Love

!turnofthetide Aug 29, 2010

Great stuff

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Mood: Love

~wild-mike Jul 31, 2010

w.o.w
this is amazing, just like the rest of your work. i LOVE your stuff

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~create-illusions Aug 2, 2010

I'm glad, thank you

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~Killer1394 Jun 1, 2010

beautiful (:

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`Exillior Feb 27, 2010 Hobbyist General Artist

I just... wow, I just love this

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~create-illusions Mar 2, 2010

Thank you!

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~create-illusions Mar 2, 2010

Thank you!

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Mood: Wow!

~lucidAbstraction Dec 22, 2009 Student Photographer

beautiful!

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